


You're My Poison

by Hawthorn_Rose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Daddy Issues, Delusions, Demon Blood Addiction, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Hallucifer, Hallucinations, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Paradise Lost references, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-01-27 15:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1716245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawthorn_Rose/pseuds/Hawthorn_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two freaks in high school with borderline schizophrenia, overbearing fathers and an unhealthy drug use gravitate together to pull each other into a downward spiral, closer and closer to one another until the breath of poisoned air is the same. Sam was pretty sure Lucius was delusional when he said he was the devil. Over time, he's not quite sure. But when you're high on demon blood, you're not really one to judge; neither, one to care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What's Your Poison?

**Author's Note:**

> There will probably be more triggers as we go along, for now there's discussion of drug use, hallucinations, consensual underage sexual activities and depiction of very minor self-harm. Please review, all thoughts are really really appreciated.

“This is the third time, Sam.” John growled, before he closed the door “You don’t get another shot. Mess this one up, you can fend for yourself. You hear me?”

“Yes sir,” Sam mumbled, miserably. Hal growled angrily at John, but Sam ignored him; it had been Hal who had gotten him into this mess in the first place. Dean was waiting in the car, gripping the steering wheel tightly and staring directly ahead. The journey to the new school was tense, and neither spoke. This school was only eight miles away, but there was no bus and the walk would take too long. Dean’s job as a mechanic meant he could drop Sam off at school, as long as Sam waited until half five for Dean to pick him up again. Which sucked, because he could easily walk back and be home sooner, but no one was giving him a hairs-width to breathe after the last incident.

That had been an accident. A one-off, chance encounter. Okay, it led to a lot more, but it started as just that.

First period: History. The teachers knew who he was, and it wouldn’t be long before the students knew about him either, probably. Sam didn’t bother to try, he dumped his bag on the empty table and made notes, doodling little devils in the margins as Hal commented, criticised and sneered at his classmates. _‘Boring, boring, boring. Why’s there never anyone interesting?’_

“Because you’re the only interesting one,” Sam muttered, quietly.

“Sam? Is there something you’d like to share with the class?” The teacher asked. Sam’s head jolted up, startled out of his quiet revere. _‘She asked when Napoleon was Emperor of France’_ Sam glanced over at Hal quickly, then back at her. “Oh, um, i-it was,” A few of his classmates tittered, and he bit back the urge to snap _‘Eighteen-oh-four’_ Hal whispered. Sam repeated it, relieved when she nodded and left him alone.

Next period: English. Sam made sure to get a table on his own again, but it ended up being for nothing as the teacher called for them all in pairs. He aimlessly pretended to look for someone; it was a waiting game to see who didn’t have any friends either. Someone tapped the back of his shoulder and he span around, a little too fast for normal. “Woah there, friendless,” Said a boy with dirty blond hair, “You’re stuck with me.”

“What do you-“

“Waiting for the friendless one to be paired with you?” Sam opened his mouth, but the boy cut him off “I can save you the wait, or you can keep hobbling about until your stuck with me anyway – your choice.” They sat on either side of a table as Paradise Lost was handed out, one per couple, and they were instructed to read through the chapter and analyse it. “I know who you are,” The blond said, bright blue eyes lit up. “Did you really set fire to a teacher?”

Sam bristled, “No!” He snapped, thoroughly pissed off. Blue-eyed’s shoulders slumped, and Sam suddenly had the burning urge to tell him. _‘He thinks you’re boring’_ Hal remarked, half-goading, half-furious. “I set a fire, and a teacher just happened to walk into it.”

A huge grin swept across the guy’s face and he snickered, looking at Sam with a slight awe. It was a look that set off some kind of chemical reaction; an instant addiction to that look, that grin, that light in someone’s eyes. Impressing the weird boy sitting opposite him was the best head-rush he’d had sober in a long time. “I’m Sam,” Sam told him, raising an eyebrow.

“Lucius. But everyone calls me Luce. Or if you want,” He said, with a cocky grin, “Lucifer is more than fine.”

 _‘I like him’_ Hal remarked, as the teacher put the book on the table. “Do you want to start or do you want me to?” Sam asked, holding the book up.

“I will.”

“Here.”

“Don’t need it.”

“What?”

_“Of Mans First Disobedience, and the Fruit_   
_Of that Forbidden Tree, whose mortal taste_   
_Brought Death to the Earth, and all our woe-”_

“Into the world,” Sam corrected. “It says brought Death into the world.”

Lucius sat up, anger flinching across his expression before he cocked his head, “You know it?” He asked, leaning forward slightly. The book was lying unopened on the table between them.

“I’ve read it, like, seven times,” Sam told him, feeling a tingling of excitement, “I know the start off by heart.”

“I know it all. Word by word, off by heart,” Luce boasted

“You got the start wrong.”

Anger flared up in his blue eyes again “No,” He snapped, “We’ve just got different versions. Mine was handwritten over a hundred years ago.”

 _‘Proud, quick-tempered, clever,’_ Hal ticked off, playing with Luce’s hair, _‘He’s perfect! SOUND THE ALARM SAMMY-BOY!’_ Sam flinched slightly as Hal exploded a dozen party poppers above their heads with a bang. If Luci noticed, he didn’t comment. “Do you want to analyse it then? There’s not much point reading through it.”

“God’s a dick and Satan’s the personification of magnificence. Are we done?”

Hal giggled, mussing with Luci’s hair again, but Sam frowned, a little disappointed. “So… who’s side do you think Milton was on?” He asked, trying to draw it out without coming off weird. In the end, they got into a deep conversation about not just that, but every aspect of Lucifer’s character and what the story was trying to say about him, and then what they thought of Michael, Uriel and even God.

“The angels saw God as a father,” Luce asserted, “But he just saw them as tools and soldiers. He only thought of the Messiah as his son. That’s what started everything.”

“I dunno, Luce, I think Lucifer would’ve rebelled either way. I mean, they had no free will, had to do everything he said, it was like the angels had to be brainwashed.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Luce said, quietly. “Better to reign in hell-”

“-Than serve in heaven,”

.*.*.*.

  
The rest of the day passed without event, although Hal was a lot louder and more annoying as the day went by. Sam reckoned he could manage easily, until Hal turned his coffee into blood, making him cough it up in the middle of a corridor and hide, startled, in an empty classroom. He could still taste it on his lips, and Hal kept whining for _blood, blood, more blood!_ The walls were running with it until Sam took out the small safety-pin from his shirt and made a small prick on the side of his hand. It was barely noticeable, but it relieved some of Hal’s intense impudence to make the last two lessons bearable.

The school library was open until 4:45, so Sam pulled out A Song of Ice and Fire to pass the time. A small pellet of paper hit his head and he stiffened, but didn’t turn round. Hal started whispering furiously to him about what they should do if people tried bully him again, as more pellets hit the back of his head, _‘The police won’t find them there, and we could use those surgical knives to bleed them out first, or study anatomy, or-’_

“Oi, Rapunzel!” A voice hissed. Sam turned around to see Lucius sitting at a different set of tables with a few other students. He relaxed, slightly, and walked over. “How come you’re here?”

“Waiting for my brother to pick me up. How about you?” Sam asked, edgily, glancing around at the other students.

“Non-physical compulsion of imprisonment for resourcefulness in the creation of an informative piece of literature.”

“You got detention for plagiarising an essay,” Sam clarified.

Lucius just gave him a sweet smug grin and asked “What time does he pick you up?”

“Five thirty.”

“Cool, come out the front at half four with me?”

“Uh, yeah, okay. What are you reading?” The answer was cut short as a teacher re-entered the room and shooed him away.

.  
“Fag?” Lucius asked him, offering the box of open cigarettes.

“I don’t smoke.”

“Your loss,” He shrugged, pulling one out and putting it between his lips. It was different from the usual over-the-counter ones, longer and completely black.

“Aren't those Black Devils?” Sam asked, curiously.

“Thought you didn’t smoke,” He remarked. “Sure you don’t want one?” He lit his as he asked, the flame dancing over its end.

“Screw it,” Sam sighed, “Do you mind?” Luce handed him one, smugly. “I was supposed to quit everything but,” He shrugged, “This doesn’t really count.”

“What do you mean everything?” Luce asked, eagerly.

“Doesn’t matter,” Sam replied, hastily. “My dad caught me with, um, weed and threw a fit.” It was half a lie, he thought, wincing slightly at the memory.

“I smell bullshit.”

“Yeah, cause you’ve never done anything,” Sam replied, scowling.

“Me? Sam, I’m totally innocent.” He said, sweet sarcasm anointing his voice. “What are you talking about?”  
 _‘Mmm, cocaine,’_ Sung Hal, quietly. They stood there, quietly for a moment as Sam lit his up. ‘ _Doo doo dah dah,’_ Hal hummed. The cigarette lit and Sam moved the lighter away, letting the flame dance. _‘If you wanna get down, down on the ground, cocaine,’_

“So?”

“So what?”

“So, what’s your poison?” _'_ _She don't lie, she don't lie, cocaine.'  
_

“None of your business.”

“Touchy, Sam. Sound a little over-defensive when you talk like that.” Sam pursed his lips. “I’ll give you twenty of these if you tell me.” Sam eyed the packet – Black Devils were expensive, and he couldn’t really turn that down. It wouldn’t do anything; Luce was definitely an outcast. “Won’t say a word, either.”

“Swear it?” They shook hands.

“Have you ever hear of Demon Blood?”

Lucius’ eyes widened, “You are kidding me. Where the hell did you find that? I thought I knew all the dealers round here.”

Sam grinned, making him swear again not to breathe a word. “I had this chemistry teacher, back at my old school, I’d help him make it. That and a couple of favours, I’d get 10mils every week.”

“What kind of ‘favours’” Luce asked, raising an eyebrow suggestively

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yep. Not, _y’know,_ ”

“Yeah,”

“But, _y’know._ ”

 _“Shit.”_ Luce swallowed, nodding. “Sweet.” He paused a minute, thinking. “Wait, that’s not the one you-”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t give me any for three weeks then leaked pictures onto a website.”

_“Fuck.”_

Sam laughed, humourlessly . “I could have dealt with that, really. It was when, ugh, Dean found them – my brother. We got into this massive fight, then I drank till the next morning. I managed to get into the lab, busted open the safe and swallowed about eighty mils. He came back, went into his office and I torched the door then made a break for it. It was,” He shook his head, “The stupidest thing anyone could have done.”

Luci took another drag, thinking about it. “He had it coming. I’d say he got lucky, the bastard.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, a little relieved. “Really?”

“If it was me,” Luce said, quietly, “I would have locked the door and let him burn.”

They shared a look, a warm fire burning behind blue eyes, before a horn honked loudly. “Oi, Sam!” Dean shouted.

“Catch you later, junkie.”

.  
Sam flicked the end of the cigarette into the bush hopped into the passenger seat, slamming the door behind him. “Really? Smoking? That stuff makes your lungs go black.” Dean asked, roughly.

“Yeah, and you’ve got nine bottles of beer in the bottom of your wardrobe, but we’re not talking about _that_.”

Dean scowled at him. “Who was that kid? He looks dodgy as hell, Sam.”

“Just a guy from school. No one. No one, really.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, Sam gave his teacher blow jobs, didn't do the frick-frack.
> 
> Song Hallucifer was singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3L4spg8vyo
> 
> Did you like it? Any improvements you want, or lines you want the story to go down? Twenty seconds for your opinion on it would be really really appreciated. Thanks!


	2. Thoughts Are My Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kudos and reviews, they absolutely made my day! :D Your wishes and advice has been absolutely taken on board, thanks so much :)

_‘Ooh, lovely. Avocado grime,’_ Hal said, picking a little off to inspect it, before sucking it off his finger. Sam ignored him; it was true, though, the school was an absolute dump.  Peeling paint, grime, teachers who would didn’t want to know and half the students on some kind of behavioural watch. Chemistry, English and Religious Studies were the only high-points; and it wasn’t hard to see the correlation. Lucius was in all of them.

 

The rest of the time Sam did his best to keep his head down, walk the walls and _‘Stop talking to me out loud’_ , Hal supplied. “Shut up,” Sam muttered back, trying to read. The rumours had already started, out of the corner of his eye he could see people in the corridors pointing at him out, giving him filthy looks and a three-foot circumference of space. At least getting to class was easy.

 

_‘_ _Well hey, at least they’re only talking about me. Imagine if they found out about what you did with that teacher in the second school…’_ Sam gritted his teeth as Hal started pasting the pictures all over the walls, then started projecting a video onto one wall. He could hear it all, echoing around, and pulled at some of his hair, trying to anchor himself. It made Hal flicker a little, but not for long. _‘Ooh, ooh, Mister Azazel,’_ Hal mocked, moaning along to the fake projection. Sam gritted his teeth, trying to focus on the words, but they all muddled together **.** _'_ _My Azazel, what big eyes you’ve got!’_ Hal mocked, in a high-pitched tone, _**‘~All the better to see you with~’** _ He continued, in a very deep voice. _‘My Azazel, what big ears you’ve got! **~All the better to hear you with.~** My Azazel, what big fingers you’ve got!’ **~All the better to-’**_

 

“Enough!” Sam spat, dropping his book. Hal disappeared, and Sam suddenly realised that half the people in the library were turning to stare at him. Sat, on his own, talking to thin air.

 

“Quiet please,” A librarian ushered, but Sam was already shoving his books into his bag and leaving. _‘Run rabbit, run rabbit, run run run! Here I come with my gun gun gun!’_ Hal sang, before firing a few shots. The bang was loud and sudden enough to make him flinch, hands flying up to his ears in shock. He could hear laughter but he walked faster, staring at the floor, hearing Hal’s encroaching footsteps getting closer and closer, trying to speed up away from him.

 

“Oi, psycho!” A voice shouted, but the rest of the guy’s words were drowned out by Hal’s singing, loud as the bell tolls, right in his ear, breathing down his back.

 

“Sam! _Sam!”_ An arm caught his shoulder and spun him round, he stepped backwards, his back pressed against a locker, heart hammering, eyes wide. Hal’s manic face melted into Lucius’, his expression etched with concern. “Hey. You alright?”

 

Sam shook his head, “I need to get out.” He said, frantically. Hal wasn’t in sight, but he could feel panic shooting down his spine, as if someone had injected adrenaline directly into his system.

 

“Come on, I know a way out where we won’t get caught, just try and stop acting like there’s a demon on your tail else we’ll get caught.” Luce grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him down the hallway, stepping in to an empty, nondescript classroom and crossing to the window. He threw it open, and looked around. Sam walked up, trying to figure out what was going on. They were on the second floor up, right next to the spiked fence, with just a low tree branch bridging the gap

 

“You don’t mean…”

 

“Do you want to get out?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then stop being a whuss,” Luce said, sitting on the window ledge before shuffling down onto the branch, “And follow me.” Sam copied his movements hesitantly, but it wasn’t hard. Him and Dean used to do this stuff all the time when they were kids, it was like second nature. The two of them walked along the branch, keeping an eye out for teachers or students, until they reached the trunk of the tree. Lucius stepped around onto another branch, held onto it and swung down, waiting for Sam to do the same. “What’s up, then?” He asked, once both of them were sitting at its base. “Were you running from someone?”

 

“You could say that,” Sam muttered.

 

“Who?” Luce demanded

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Tell me. What did they look like?” Sam just shook his head, silently. “What’s their name? Did they do anything?”

 

“You don’t want to know,” He muttered.

 

“Hell I do. Tell me.”

 

“They’re not – his name is Hal,” Sam said, quietly. Luce had probably heard already; and if he hadn’t yet, it wouldn’t be long. But the words stuck in his throat, the pretence of friendship had been so nice, even if it was just for a few days.

 

“What does he look like?”

 

“To you… he’s invisible.” Sam said, quietly. Lucius’ expression softened slightly in understanding, but Sam couldn’t meet his eyes. “He was just… just being a dick. There wasn’t _anything_ happening.” Bitterness crept into his voice, “I’m just a freak.”

 

“You’re not a freak,” Lucius snapped. Sam looked at him, sideways, before his head dropped down. They sat in silence for a bit. “Do you actually hear him then? And see him?”

 

“Yes,” He sighed, head still bowed. “And he can show me things or… stuff like that. I know he’s not real, but-“

 

“It seems real.”

 

“…yeah.” They sat quietly for a minute, as Luce fumbled in his jacket for his cigarettes, handing one to Sam silently. They were roll ups, rather than his usual black devils, and smelt of – “Is this weed?”

 

“If you don’t want it I’ll have it. I’ve found it helps, though.” Sam looked up at him, confused. “I understand, Sam. I don’t think you’re a freak. I know what you’re going through.” His voice was soft, sympathetic, subtly impassioned. “Everyone else, they treat you like you’re insane–”

 

“I _am_ insane,” Sam said, humorously.

 

“No you’re _not,”_ Lucius spat, angrily. He gripped Sam’s jaw, making him look up and into his eyes. “Everyone treats you like you’ve got some disease, like you’re a dangerous animal that should be locked away, just because you can _think._ Some people, people like us, they see through the cracks. Everyone just acts as if this world is the only one, even when their own science shows them they can’t truly understand a thing. There’s worlds beneath this one, and every time someone sees one of them, sees the cracks in reality, they call them _flawed, broken abortions.”_ His voice changed at the end, as if he were mimicking someone else. His eyes were wild, grip bruising, “You’re not insane. They’re the freaks.” He was breathing rapidly, staring into Sam’s eyes with such intensity, it was as if he was trying to burn that understanding into his mind; to scorch his eyes open in the hope he would see better.

 

  _‘Looks like you pal Luci’s got a few issues, Sammy. I don’t know if we can trust him.’_ Hal murmured, in his ear. _‘He’s mad, just like us. Look at his eyes, look how he’s breathing, he’s more unstable than we are.’_ Sam hadn’t moved, neither had Lucius. _‘It’s a sweltering hot day, you two are some of the only people wearing long sleeves. We know what that means, don’t we? Same cuts, same crazy. He’s going to be sectioned before he leaves school, I’ll bet your soul on that one.’_

“Okay,” Sam said, “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to affirm; mental health issues are a disease of the brain. You do not see through cracks in reality, that is why medication works and stress makes it worse xxx
> 
> Kudos and reviews are my ecstasy :)


	3. Your Words Are Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SSOOO much to everyone who reviewed! It was really inspiring to read them, I really really appreciate it! And yeah, Hal is abbreviated from Hallucifer; holla for picking up on that :D   
> I have no intentions on abandoning this piece, but I do apologise that the updates take a while. I draw from a lot of personal experience, which can be very enlivening and cathartic in some ways, but occasionally also quite triggering, so I've been cautious about the times I write at. I will try and do updates more often though, especially as we've finally broken up for the holidays. Enjoy!

They sat under the tree for hours, talking. Sam had dismissed what Lucius said at first, he knew what his problems were; he had it in black and white, a doctors’ note, a bottle of pills he flushed down the toilet most days, thirty internet articles. Borderline schizophrenia. An excess of dopamine. A disease. But they got high, and Lucius’ words span a web around him, seducing fantasies of alternative realities where Hal might be a ghost, spirit or demon who had been attracted to him. Angry at his imprisonment in this world, lonely that he couldn’t return home to his alternative astral world, he took it out on Sam, became possessive because he was his only contact. “You can’t blame him, really. You would do the same thing. If you listen, he might become kinder. He wants what’s best for him, but that’s also what’s best for you.”

“So… why does he want me dead sometimes?” Sam asked. “Or hurt?”

“Well, if you die, then he can move on. But then your positions might be swapped round; you’re attached to him, so when you die you’ll both move to his world and you’ll be the invisible one. Maybe you’re soul mates.”

Sam nodded, wide-eyed. Hal wasn’t there, but he’d tell him about it later and see what he thought. “How do you know all of this?”

“Because I know what it’s like. I see through the cracks as well, I _think._ I’m not supposed to be in this world though, I belong somewhere else.”

“Do you know where?”

“Yes.” Sam waited for his answer patiently. “I had to work it out myself, mostly, but some people gave me hints. They weren’t really _people,_ though, they’re demons. I can tell because of their eyes – they turn black. Pitch black, their whole eyes, like a nightmare. And they like me, they’re drawn to me. There are some people who don’t like me, who are afraid of me. But when I see through the cracks, I can control what happens down there. Everyone listens to me. Some people try to defy my rule, but I can strike them down. It fits.”

“What fits?”

“I’m the devil, Sam. I’ve been trapped in hell for a long time, God cast me down, Sin and Death guarded the gates of Hell after Adam and Eve, but somebody let me out. I had to come here in human form; this isn’t actually my body. I went into it, we assimilated. I have all of his memories. This isn’t my body, it’s a vessel. But I’ve been bound to it, since it was a child. Someone is trying to take over Hell, so they sent me up here and trapped me inside of a human. But because I’m within this body with the original one – his name’s Nick – I have both of our thoughts and memories. Sometimes Nick’s more in control, sometimes I am. People think I’m changeable and have mood swings, but they don’t get it. Both of us are quite stable, but there’s two people.”

Sam nodded, mulling it over. “So, when you said about me calling you Lucifer you, like, you meant it?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll call you Lucifer then?”

“Yeah.”

They talked a little more, running into the lesson hours without hardly a care. It was a little after four when Sam finally realised he still had to catch his lift home with Dean, and convinced Lucius to wait by the front of the school with him. “My eyes red?” He asked, blearily.

“Nah, your good.”

“Yours are.”

“Who cares?” Lucius shrugged.

Sam frowned at him, “Won’t your dad be mad if he finds out?”

The boy laughed, bitterly. “Dad doesn’t give a damn. I doubt he’d even notice.” There was an uncomfortable silence, and Sam silently berated himself for bringing the subject up. Lucifer’s father was even more absent than his own, and barely paid his sons any attention. Dean pulled up five minutes later, and they bid their goodbyes.

.

“Dean, go get some bread,” John commanded, as they walked through the door. Dean froze at his fathers’ tone and glanced between him and Sam.

“What hap-”

“I said go. Now”

“But-”

“That’s an order, boy,” John growled

“Yes sir.” Dean said, gritting his teeth and looking down at his boots. He gave a last, helpless glance at Sam before leaving, the younger one fiddling with his fingers and not looking at either of them.

“Where were you?”

“School,” Sam mumbled.

“What? Speak up, stop muttering.”

“School, dad.”

“They why,” John approached him and Sam took an instinctual step back, “Did the school call me up to say that you’d disappeared?” He shoved Sam against the wall; he hit it with a thud. “Huh?” Sam shook his head, mouth dry, not daring to look John in the eyes. “Look at me,” John shouted, grabbing Sam’s collar roughly and hoisting him up, “Where were you?”

“I – I–”

John shook him, his head hitting the wall. “You were lazing off, weren’t you? Weren’t you?” 

“Sorry, sir,” Sam said, eyes prickling. John dropped him and stalked backwards, angrily. “Won’t happen again.” 

“Get kicked out of one more school, and you’ll wish you hadn’t been born.” 

_I already do_

“I already do,” Sam muttered, the words were out of his mouth before he’d thought to stop them. 

It happened in an instant, one minute John’s back was to him, the next a blow landed on his cheek and he yelped staggering back, hitting the wall, his knees giving out and his arms coming up to protect his head. John grabbed one wrist and yanked him forwards. “Don’t you dare say that.” He snarled, “I did not raise you to be a coward. YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE PEOPLE ARE? COWARDS!” Sam flinched, trying to pull away, the door banged open and Dean raced through, shouting. Sam didn’t wait any longer – John’s grip had loosened and he made a break for it, sprinting down the street, unwanted tears clinging to his cheeks. Darting down an alleyway, his pace slowed, breathing raggedly. _He’s gonna get you. He’s going to get you. He’s gonna get you, he’s gonna get you he’s gonna get youhe’sgonnagetyouhe’sgonnagetyouHE’SGONNAGETYOUHE’SGONNAGETYOU_  

“Shut up!” Sam yelled, swinging at the apparition. But there were a hundred John’s all circling about, contorted, larger than life, carrying knives and guns and bats and clenching their fists. Sam put his hands over his ears and eyes, sinking down against the wall, trembling. 

Time passed, he couldn’t tell how long it had been, but finally the sirens in his ears died down and Hal put an arm around his back, singing Radiohead quietly. Sam fumbled in his pockets, pulling out a box of cigarettes and lighting one. He took a few drags and stood up, slowly, head spinning, Hal’s singing quietening to little more than a hum. _…and that’s what really hurts, you do it to yourself, just you, and that’s what really hurts, you do it to your…_ Sam pulled out his phone, fingers hovering over Dean’s number. Dean would come and pick him up, they’d go for a drive, probably in silence, until he’d calmed down, and then head home. He would walk through the house without saying a word and sit in bed talking angrily with Hal or trying to be quiet as razors raked through his skin. 

Sam dialled the one contact below Dean. “Who is it?” A voice snapped.

“Luce?” Sam asked, hoarsely. “It’s me, Sam. Can I come to yours?”

There was a long pause.  
“Yeah. Course you can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Hal's singing is Just by Radiohead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTto5j32B-0
> 
> Kudos and reviews are wonderful, all comments and advice taken on board xxx

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be clear, Sam gave his teacher blow jobs, didn't do the frick-frack.
> 
> Song Hallucifer was singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3L4spg8vyo
> 
> Did you like it? Any improvements you want, or lines you want the story to go down? Twenty seconds for your opinion on it would be really really appreciated. Thanks!


End file.
